our 1st reaction to most of the statements(which we hear from other ppl) is an evaluation or judgement, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately to feel "tt's right,'' or ''tt's stupid," "tt's abnormal," "tt's unreasonable," "tt's incorrect," "tt's not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.

-Carl R Rogers