i think new years make people want to express appreciation for others cuz it makes you think back on all the things that have taken place in the past year; some things to mourn and some to celebrate; the endless streams of people coming in and going out-some leave footprints while some spit and leave. so now im in a "what if i don't have a tomorrow and miss out on saying important things i should have said but never did either out of sheer laziness or out of a sense of taken-for-grantedness". so many things are temporal, life is; but im kind of digressing here so let me get to what im driving at.

you know how sometimes certain people play an extremely large part in your life at that particular point in time and they seem like they're one of the most important people to you then; like that primary school "best" friend who eats instant noodles at your house every other day and you two hang out like you have absolutely no other friend but thats just cuz you truly enjoy each other's company and hence are inseparable. but you two are separable and you realise that *gasps* "best" friends don't always stay "best". so you move further and further away from each other like magnets gone wrong, repelling and repelling. a couple of years down and you look at things in retrospect and think, "hey what happened there? why is it that you now dread meeting up with that person or bumping into him or her on the streets or even on msn and are usually at a complete loss for words and desperately searching for topics that you now can bring up to last a 3min conversation when you then could chat or banter for hours on end.
but you've transformed; you've moved on in your own little or big ways; you're no longer you then but you now. and the life that you now have doesnt necessarily want to include some of the people you then had and perhaps that is better for you now.

i know i can be overbearing at times and am flawed flawed flawed so thank you each for being part of my then and yet putting up with me and still actively being part of my now.
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