YOU GOD DAMN LIAR BEN!

hahaha... admit it... feelings can be nurtured! and the distance is already starting to take it's toll on you! haha... nah, i'll believe whatever you say, but just don't deny the fact, and don't try to lead a person on, it's really not right... i guess it's more about 'etchical' aspects which i'm wondering about now these days... it's like, we're all saying one thing, but doing another thing.. furthermore, it's when we try to convince ourselves that we ain't doing the 'wrong' thing which makes it more disturbing... hmmm.. just think about it, i'm definately sure that each and everyone one of us out there, has done something, or is doing something, which we know it's wrong... there's this 'gut' feeling that we're not doing the right thing! but... we just don't seem to dmit that fact... why? this is distressing.. what is the society turning into? isn't there something like... integrity or etchis which still exsist? in this world?

BEN its been a long long time since you last blogged man.. but when u come, u really cuMMmMm... it's like verbal diahorrea.. a few months worth of loads waiting to be expelled..hahaha.. SHIOK RIGHT!.. anyway dude i appreciate ya long and detailed entry of ya life in Oz so far.. full of explicit and lucid stories to tell.. sounds like you got a great start. anyway keep us updated with ya life and i hope there's more to CuMMmMm.. =)

Hey guys and gals, thanks for asking how I'm settling in Brisbane..:) Will promise to blog at least twice a week yea...have a lot of free time actually lol :P

Anyway just to start things going, I arrived in Brisbane on the 13th of July~ the weather was a little cold at first...so used to it liao..starting to go to sch in berms and polo t-shirt today haha...~ Miss u guys loads yea!~ Spent the last two weeks adjusting to the slack slow life that australia has to offer...hope the speed will pick up soon and start to hit the books..:P

This week is only the 2nd week that actual class began...will start tutorials this week...:) I had parents for company till the 21st July and then waited for andreas and xiaoling to drop by on the 25th July...although the couple stayed for 6days only...we had loads of fun yea...wished u guys stayed longer :) wanted to post the pics we've taken but I have some problems downsizing the pics I took in my digicam...anyone can help me? LoL....

Just to elaborate further on what andreas, xiao and I did during the 6days...we went for nice chinese/vietnamese food at a place called marketsquare, sunnybank..loads of good asian food...its the upcoming brisbane chinatown and the food really tastes better than the asian restaurants in singapore...went there almost every nite lol....

we also went sightseeing ard gold coast...moveworld is such a good place to visit esp if u want to ignite the kid in you haha..the superman ride was superbly insane...0-100km/h in 2secs...3.2 positive G-Force and 1.0 negtive G-Force...simply awesome...the other rides also lived up to expectations :) We also visited the Conrad Treasury Casino in the city haha...3 nights in a row LOL....an advise to those gambling...pls know how to stop when u win cash...whether its $1 OR $1000...stop OR regret man hahaha.....whalewatching was a nauseous experience that I will nv regret haha...no matter how unseasick...u will still feel the effects after 6hrs on choppy waters....but the experience was worth it...saw humpback whales, a hammerhead shark and pods of dolphins...its paradise out there...the moreton aqua highway is teeming with life that we have never seen with our own eyes..haha...

the milton area has nice chillout cafes(la dolce vita little paris) and nice fish and chips(rosalie village) not to mention good ice-cream/pizza too...will definitely bring u guys around if anyone wants to come round haha~ Many many nice places to explore..will update u guys yea :)

i will be visiting gold coast again this weekend with this gal I just met and another of her fren thats visiting brisbane as a stopover cos she's an air stewardess....haha...i have confessions to make...I've been talking to this gal called weizhen almost every nite for 2hrs or so...she's a friend from Uni of queensland....just came back from dinner with her not long ago...feels good to have accompany around...I have told myself I will not betray my gf or any sorts along that line...just blogging to get my thoughts off my mind right now lah....at least maybe u guys know what I am up to in aussieland lol!

I have NOT fallen for her...she's just a friend that I like to hang out with and she'll be my projectmate for 2 modules....so yea I have to see her almost everyday at sch...I have told my gf about her so thats a whole load off my mind....I know the gals will think I shld just know when to stop....I do...I really do...I do believe that long-distance relationships last.....I can imagine myself in my gf's shoes....so yea i'm cool...I think hahaha....

Blogging makes me happy.

xl i did abit of readjustment cause you sux!
p.s: nice abs andreas! can tell you have been pumping the tummy!..haha...

themeparks make anyone; seriously anyone, a kid all over again.
it's the kind of place you have doubts on going and when you decide that you really are going to take that trip you start anticipating; eagerness surges up within you slowly as you ride in the car and you await. then exactly like a five-year-old in the backseat you ask "are we there yet?"
the moment finally arrives as you behold the wide open gates beckoning you, arms extended towards you, calling out your name and you enter with such excitement you want to get on every single ride you see and take pictures with anything animate or inanimate. the kid has taken over.

then you feel such bravery as you take all the rides that causes your heart to skip two beats then end up in your mouth but you manage to find your voice somewhere to release that piercing scream as you fall vertically down in fast motion you think your safety buckle's going to snap and you'll end up flying sky-high then landing in pieces, unrecognizable. but you didn't so you get off the ride and run right back into the queue to feel what you just felt all over again. nothing daunts you at that very instant. you are invincible.

that's why i love themeparks.

it always feels different whenever you guys return back to us. although we might not have the luxury of time to spend, just tryna do what we did before. but during that 'blitzkrieg' reunion i always have a great time, just knowing that we are still as one, still the same old pals. it's good enough for me just to hear you laugh, hear you sing, hear your foot step next to me. my friends,you'll always be. Bless you all~

we all know that
nice guys always finish last.
but i was wondering,
do nice girls finish last as well?

hi all out there... i just found out one of my friends is bi-sexual. he had sex with this russian girl, that is perfectly fine, but then, he also slept with this guy... he assumes he was spiked while clubbing, because he couldn't remember anything when he woke up, besides the fact he was sleeping next to this stranger (male), naked... he guessed he poked that guy's ass, cause his didn't hurt... he dosen't know his sexualtiy at the moment... i feel him... i get confused sometimes too... hahaha.. just joking, except that i really think brad pitt is HOT... besides that, nothing much... my friend keeps calling me i got a gay side.. which is troublesom.. cause if everyone says that, i'm sure even a straight guy would turn gay... besides this point, i am in period of depression, blankness... i failed 2 units... managment accounting a, as well as derivatives securities. the latter is really difficult, i got no qualms about failing it. the former, i failed it before, this means i have failed twice. i can't believe it... i am in a state of shock... and depression. i have to extend my degree by another year, as the unit of study screws up everything on my schedule. furthermore, my dad, he's really disappointed. he wants me to drop out of uni, and he's not going to support me anymore. he's serious this time.. the money he's going to give me, (just sufficient to cover 1 semester), is supposed to tide me through this year, and next year till june.. it is definately not enough. i can't believe it. he is so disappointed. he's even contemplating about making me drop out of uni, and make me go into the workforce, become a taxi driver. serious. i feel i've let them down. i have made up my mind. i am going to score high distinctions for all my units next semster. no matter how hard it is ( it's going to be even harder), but i will. to regain his trust, his faith in me. please, i really need a guiding light, somebody to believe in me... you know who you are...

musings.

don't feel judged
don't feel slighted
don't feel like dirt
and this feels good.

you know, moving on isn't bad.
things change. people change. emotions change.
can't stop treading, do it carefully initially then walk on water.

you: im happy for you.

Graduation came and went. no big deal. just a very simple ceremony. i love the ending though. there were tons of balloons and streamers that 'pop' out from above. it was very very beautiful. at that moment i felt good to be leaving school, i felt all ready and energized to step out into the working world.
moments- whether good or bad, they are always temporary. they make you upset/happy for a while, but after a while it dies down/ goes away. moments are like that.

when do you decide that love is love, and that like is like. when do you decide that this person is your best friend or your good friend. when do you decide that hate is hate, and that dislike is dislike. just feel that love is such a social construct, wonder what it would be like if there was no such thing as love? would the world be a less complicated place? and then if you accept love for what it is, where do you draw the line? how do you diffferentiate. does liking alot=to loving? does loving you a lot= to liking you? why do people make such a big fuss about it?
when someone says "i like you alot" vs "i love you", why do we feel different about it. why should we feel different about it? who taught us that love is love and like is like. they are two seperate entities. valentine's day is just a day that has been craved and created out by people. so how authentic is that?
i feel like i have just given a sociological class. oh boy, i am going to miss school.

P.S the above is NOT inspired by my relationship. i am an individual with my own thoughts as well, so is he. i am doing an individual general reflection, that concerns everyone.

hope you guys have a great day.
it is afterall a beautiful day. and i am in love. (not in the romantic sense).

...another man gone...

oh my god jen, you are SOOO RIGHT... your gown looks ill fitting! hahaha.. just joking... congratulations on graduating... sorry i don't have anything to give you now, but wait, i'll try and think of something soon... hehehe... congrats!

i have finally graduated!... Ho Ah =)

My graduation is tomorrow. eeks. i hate the gown. it is so HORRIBLE and SHAPELESS.
i can't wait for it to be over. ( Xiao ling you ass, going to miss my graduation because of andreas. zhong se qin you. never mind i will forgive you if you buy me nice stuff from aussie. just charge it to andreas's account! haha!)

somehow or rather short form "english" has taken over the world. and sometimes cutting short of what you want to say loses its meanings.
For example: i 1 u Vs i want you
feels different. is different.

dear friends, i know this sounds totally off, but please practice safe sex. i am so appalled at how many people do without the rubbers.( no personal attacks here). just think it is not worth it for that few seconds of intense pleasure. think about it.

P.S i can't erase memories. but at least i can create new ones, which is what is important now. history will always remain as history. women can be so mah fan. i know. cause i am half a WO MAN.

its the holidays. or is it. i've been to school every day of the week, monday to sunday, doing work. sure doesnt feel like a holiday

I feel like a blunt underachieving pencil that needs to be sharpened.
A pencil that needs to achieve the many things sought after in one's lifetime before being discarded. Here i sit with the same unachieved ambitions held years ago when staedtler first manufactured me. Semester after semester the same results appear, always one short from that target. The chance to grasp my first class honors is now gone and i am very disappointed. I believe i studied as hard as anyone else but i guess as tharin was right when he said we are competiting with the top quantile of people. I guess i aint smart enough. sad but true.

i hope i can come back home and work, i miss home, been away for too long my roots are starting to get mouldy

hello there peeps!

things are great but bloody cold in aussieland (day times are good though.. :)
ive been having truckloads of fun here; the coldplay concert was by far the best concert ive been too actually (it's on a totally different league man compared to the chinese concerts but yeah, david tao's stil good..ha) chris martin was 'high' perpetually and he came so close to the audience, we were third row from the front free standing so it was good, i think i managed to smell his sweat and see his pores on his face. hahahah. so it was all good. dreas took me to watch an australian rugby league game last night and it was awesome too except for a few beer guzzling morons sittin next to us who spilled beer all over two little girls in the row in front of them and then spewed profanities in their face and made one of them cry. so yeah, the game was good-the team (Queensland) we decided to root for five minutes before we left the house won 16-14. i screamed a lot. a lot. a lot. so did dreas.
oh and dreas has to pay 800bucks to replace the brake pads which is kinda kinda a problem but it'll be ok. we're leaving for tasmania tmr night and hopefully the car can get fixed by today.
ok we're going for brunch now. we miss you guys though you might not believe this and think this is a shitload of bull, but yeah. WE MISS YOU GUYS!! :)

jen: dont fret over the P & G job, something better will come along, im sure of it! and i think memories (good ones) are only good for those who remember them, they aren't necessarily good for others. but you cant replace memories, no matter how hard you try. but you're better than that. love ya loads.

YO people! so how is everyone doing?
i am currently still unemployed, which is very very sad. And i just got rejected by P&G. And my toilet bowl is spoilt, so all in all not very very good. anyways, i am so glad germany got kicked out! i am actually rooting for Portugal. Go Portugal! i like Deco.

memories- is it a good or bad thing? i still can't decide.

my graduation ceremony is on monday! morning. so those who can come, come! and take pictures with me!

ok ciao. jen